The implications of COVID-19 and Monopoly

I don’t need to tell you what COVID-19 is, I also don’t need to give you medical advice nor should you be seeking it on sites like this. I will however make a few basic recommendations. If you are prone to illness, old, HIV positive, cancer, unlucky on the immune system lotto, etc you need to be careful or considerate to people you know are any of the prior. Stocking up on stupid shit like ass paper is moronic, get your ass in the shower if worst comes to worse and use the nozzle to spray yourself down, they do that shit in the same countries this virus came from so it can’t really be that bad. Canned food, food that doesn’t spoil, if you’re a smoker get some cigs, if you are an alcoholic just grab that shit. You know how it is, basic necessities and coffee, don’t forget that. I highly doubt facemasks are going to do much but you know, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Just give things a second think through, you are all capable of using your brain, you got this - I am sure 97% of you will be fine, for the 3% please don’t open disputes if you plan on dying because they will be there until we get incarcerated. Also if we die, you’re all fucked I guess so fair warning in advance.

Information for Customers

  • If you order internationally expect delays, silly disputes will not be tolerated nor will abuse of vendors during this time of unrest. I highly advise domestic orders only during this time. If you ignore my advice you further increase your risk of losing your funds. I want to express this; just because you are not ordering from China, or Italy, and just because “people are still walking around outside” does not in anyway, shape, or form mean your mail is getting delivered to a reliable extent. Mail systems worldwide will hold up for as long as can be, ordering online right now will be the same IF NOT WORSE than Black Friday/Christmas. You have to also remember, during holiday seasons temporary staff are usually hired to handle the load, that is when people are NOT usually getting sick. This came as a shock to the world (thanks communism) and will likely mean mail systems are understaffed, and we must deal with this as a community. It may sound melodramatic, but this shit is going to effect everything, all of you both online and offline. Shit is being ordered non-stop online, this means more mail in the system, this means more stress on already stressed workers, this means lost packs, etc etc… One good thing is, I bet seizures are at an all time low. You do not need to be ordering 20 items from 50 different vendors. 1 order, for an amount you can afford to lose, when it comes, next one, and repeat. Playing into the MSM panic is going to cause you problems, just don’t take the risk right now by dropping money you cannot really afford on drugs you are never 100% guaranteed to receive.

  • Any vendor caught flogging goods as a “cure” to Coronavirus will not only be permanently removed from this market but should be avoided like the Spanish Flu. You are about to ingest drugs from a stranger on the internet - under no circumstances should you trust any vendor that is using COVID-19 as a marketing tool to peddle tangible/already questionable goods, I highly doubt many of you would fall for that shit to begin with but you know, dishonest practice is never a good sign and a sure sign to stay away.

Coronavirus Special - Bonus Added, get your orders in now! = Perfectly acceptable.
Cannabis, keep you fit and healthy and COVID free = Unacceptable.
Cannabis - helps with Coronavirus = Unacceptable

I think you get the idea.

  • Crypto is up and down like Mia Khalifa, the USD is likely going to remain the safest bet to hold fiat currency. Don’t take my financial advice as fact. I do expect a large increase in the usage of crypto as well as the holding of crypto, with that being said - there will be whales capitalizing on this so I cannot really foresee where the price is going although BTC seemed to settle around $5.5k~ during this first phase of global panic. If you are flat our broke, or simply give zero fucks and only use crypto to make orders always ensure you purchase a little extra to account for the fluctuation, try your best to do this. If you are off by a few cents, dollar - don’t worry about it, don’t stress, we got you.

  • Do not use this as a time to order more than you can afford to lose. Stocking up, granted - it is likely a wise move. But do not put your guard down, within the past 3 days we have had 2 very notable vendors exit. I have no doubt COVID has something to do with this - whether that be it panic, unstable drug dealers going off into the night I do not know. But please, maintain a sensible mindset and avoid MSM bullshit/fearmongering, and use your due diligence. Also - lets try to be nicer to one and other, there is enough bullshit going on right now people don’t want to be dealing with bullshit on here too.

Information for Vendors

  • If you are not prepared to put in the work during this time, set yourself to vacation mode, handle your current orders and wait it out. If we are expecting customers to be extra reasonable you have to be willing to go the extra mile also. You will not be punished for going on vacation, you will be punished if you let standards drop. I do not mean to tell you how to do business, but we will continue to enforce the level we have always expected and COVID is no excuse to let your guard down or otherwise put your feet up.

  • You do not, under any circumstances use COVID-19 as a marketing tool. No magical cures, no silly fucking mask selling, toilet paper selling. None of that bullshit. We have class here, and I am sure none of you will do it - but I just want to state that as fair warning. You are solely in charge of the pricing you set for your usual goods, I will not punish or otherwise hinder your ability to sell if you crank your prices up, this is a free market and I will never dictate that sort of thing.

  • Keep up to date with the price of USD, again - up and down like Mia Khalifa.

  • We will be more lenient on the time it takes for orders to be dispatched and delivered within reason. Customers that give you shit because their order placed on Saturday evening that never arrived first thing Monday will be politely told to get a grip.

  • I highly, highly, highly, highly, suggest you switch your operations to domestic only. I cannot stress this enough. The short term loss, will benefit you, your profiles, and your reputation in the long run. This however is your choice.

  • You should already be doing this but please wear a pair of gloves, old pair of reading glasses, and a face mask if available. Vendors in all conditions should be keeping a certain level of good hygiene. While I expect the chances of transmitting this is low via a pack, again I am not a doctor so I don’t know but surely sneezing, coughing, spitting, or otherwise contaminating your goods is not nice regardless of COVID or not but it doesn’t hurt to be a little extra courteous.

Finally, I wish you all good luck and god speed. Take care of yourselves as this shit is going to be going on for a decent amount of time. I do genuinely mean that, please look after yourselves. The biggest risk to most of you is the panic caused by the people, fueled by the internet and daily life grinding to a hault, I believe it is called the social impacts? Please don’t forget that.

For actual harm reduction advice from educated people see this;

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Weekly canary of the Monopoly team’s health;

Hash: SHA512

BTC Hash - 0000000000000000000666ed0980ac1b52a680bd7f88c0367e90d9ddb4e7cc33
Date - 2020-03-20 02:29

Monopoly Team - No Symptoms